Outdated Wedding Traditions We’re Not Doing

We’re exactly four months away from our wedding now which feels so surreal! When we got engaged the wedding date we set felt like forever away and now everything is suddenly needing to be organised. Luckily I started planning early so that there wasn’t too much to do nearer the big day, but there’s still some last minute things to iron out.

During planning I’ve come across lots of traditions on wedding blogs and websites – some of which I like the idea of and some which I’m less keen on. So I thought I’d share the wedding traditions that we won’t be partaking in because they’re either outdated or just not us. After all, it’s our wedding so we want it to be 100% personal to us both.

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Blog post update: All photos now included in this blog post are from our own wedding

“Old, new, borrowed, blue”

A centuries old tradition that is supposedly a sign of good luck. But personally I can’t be bothered with the faff! I’m not a very sentimental or superstitious person so things like this aren’t for me.

The bouquet toss

I always thought this seemed like a nice tradition.. until I saw the price of the flowers! There is no way I will be throwing my actual bouquet that costs well over £100, but I do like the idea of this tradition. So as an alternative I’ve put together a bouquet made of artificial flowers to throw instead! And then I can keep my actual bouquet and maybe even get it preserved as a keepsake.

RSVP

The traditional way for guests RSVP to a wedding invite is to send back a response in the post, but times have changed and the internet has made this process much easier! I know most brides still choose the postal method, but I set up a lovely wedding website using theknot.com which allows guests to easily RSVP and pick their food options. Then it puts it all into a nice spreadsheet for me to give to the caterers – easy peasy! And no hassle and additional cost of stamps!

Carrying the bride over the threshold

Seeing as I’m bigger than my groom I think this one is a no-go on health and safety grounds.

Maid of Honour/Ushers

We’re keeping our bridal party as simple as possible – the groom has his two best friends as his best men and no ushers or groomsmen. I am having my two best friends plus my sister and niece as bridesmaids. We didn’t really want any children as part of the bridal party (although we are inviting kids to the wedding!) and I also didn’t want to pick out a ‘maid of honour’ – all of my girls are equally special!

Garter Toss

I have bought a lacey garter to wear under my dress, but there’s also a really gross tradition (which I think is from the USA) where the bride sits on a chair so her new husband can put his head under her dress to take her garter off and then toss it to a crowd of bachelors. Gross.

Photography

We aren’t having formal wedding photos. You know the ones – where everyone stands upright on the lawn and is forced to smile for the camera in a big staged group photo. Instead, we have booked a documentary style photographer who takes candid photos and will hopefully catch some of the best moments that are a bit more natural.

Food and drink

Our wedding breakfast is quite traditional with a three course sit down meal with speeches afterwards. We are having a casual drinks reception after the ceremony (hopefully outdoors!) where bottles of beer or flutes of pink prosecco will be served – I wanted something a little different to normal prosecco! We will be drinking rosé champagne as our first toast as a couple thanks to this lovely bottle of personalised wedding champagne kindly sent to us from Say It With Champers. The perfect gift for newlyweds!

Receiving Line

In case you are unaware – a receiving line at a wedding is basically where the bride and groom (as well as both sets of parents, the best man, and the main of honour) stand in a line and individually welcome guests. Whilst welcoming guests sounds lovely, standing in a line whilst all the guests queue up to say hello seems a bit formal. Plus, I’m not sure it’s a very Covid-friendly tradition these days.

Veil

Tradition states that wearing a veil helps to ward off evil spirits intent on cursing the bride. The veil is supposed to hide the bride’s face from demons and witches so couldn’t curse her – bit scary. I’m not against veils and I think they look quite pretty, but for me personally I don’t plan on wearing one. Our wedding is at a barn venue so are keeping things quite casual, and I am not paying money to have my hair and make up done for it then to be hidden!

Wedding Cake

There’s a few wedding cake traditions, one being that you save the top tier of your wedding cake and keep it in the freezer, then on the one-year anniversary of your wedding you eat it together. I plan on just eating all the leftover cake the day after the wedding and before we go on our honeymoon. Another tradition is that wedding cake is usually fruit cake – but does anyone actually like fruit cake?! No – so we are having four tiers of differing flavours including chocolate and caramel! We also won’t be having any fondant icing covering the cake, as we prefer the semi-naked cake look! One cake tradition we will follow though is cutting the cake together in the evening – but we certainly won’t be smashing it into each others faces!

Colour Scheme

I am obsessed with wedding Pinterest but we don’t really have a colour scheme or theme as such. Our bridesmaids are in dusky pink and I will be having some pink roses in my bouquet, so maybe pink is our colour scheme?! The decor is all quite neutral and a bit rustic to fit in with the barn setting, but we haven’t picked a specific theme.

Here Comes the Bride

I doubt many brides have the traditional wedding march whilst coming down the aisle anymore. I’ve picked an acoustic version of one of my favourite rock songs to walk down the aisle to, but you can basically pick anything you like! We’ve also picked a non-traditional first dance song and a few of our favourite pop punk songs for whilst we’re signing the register. It’s your special day – pick the music you love!

Taking Sides

Traditionally guests of the bride are seated on the bride’s side of the aisle, while guests of the groom are seated on the groom’s side. But we would prefer guests to mix and mingle a little so there is no divide down the room.

The bride’s family pays

Is it still a thing that the bride’s parents pay for the wedding? I think this tradition has gone out of the window for most couples – I don’t know of anyone that’s had their wedding paid for by family, and we are paying for 100% of our wedding ourselves.

There are of course some traditions that we will be following – my Dad will be ‘giving me away’, our honeymoon is booked for two days after the wedding, there will be a seating plan for the wedding breakfast and a top table, and I will of course be wearing white! There are also a few non-traditional ‘surprises’ that we haven’t shared on here (don’t worry – not a choreographed first dance!). I can’t wait for the big day and I will be sure to share photos and more details afterwards. In the meantime, follow me on Instagram and check out my wedding highlight to keep up to date with our wedding plans!

* This post was inspired by a post that Katie did before her blog transformation – her post is no longer active but I still wanted to credit her.