The teenage years can be filled with angst, hormones and stress. This can make being a parent to a teen a huge challenge. Finding common ground between you and helping them make the transition into adulthood might feel impossible at times.
The two main things to remember with teens: build and keep their trust and maximise the quality time you spend together. Here are some tips to help you do just that.
Build trust
Trust is an essential feature of any healthy relationship. For teens, it can help them to feel secure as they navigate the world. They will be able to turn to you if things don’t go to plan which allows them to test themselves and their environment.
To start increasing the trust between yourself and your teen you could start initiating check-ins. Conversations like this do not need to be daily – weekly would be just fine. In these conversations ask open-ended questions. Keep them general such as asking about their day or an interest they have. As time goes on, your teen may feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
Be prepared for your almost adult to tell you things that may upset you or make you worried. If this does happen, remember to keep your own emotions in check. An overreaction will likely make your teen clam up and less likely to confide in you. If you need to take a step away to calm down, do. Modelling healthy coping mechanisms will help your teenager grow into an emotionally mature adult.
Quality time
Feeling disconnected from your teen is normal. It can be hard to know what is going on in their life as they take on more independence. Spending quality time together is a great way to introduce natural conversations so that you can both catch up with each other.
Lean into your teenager’s interests and find something you can do together. For sports-mad kids, find a local football game or have an afternoon watching basketball with snacks and drinks.
Cooking meals can seem like a necessity but there are ways to involve everyone in the family. Make it into a challenge where you pick a key ingredient for someone else, and they have to use it in a meal one night. Alternatively, you could make one night a week like Come Dine With Me and vote for the best cook at the end of the month.
One of the biggest rites of passage into adulthood is learning to drive. Teaching your offspring a new skill, whilst stressful, can provide an opportunity to bond with them. Just remember to keep your calm and take it slowly. Don’t forget to get a young driver’s insurance policy too, just in case something goes wrong!